My friend Michele, who has created beautiful work that can be seen here and here, invited me to go with her. Her boyfriend was flying out to California (I think for work? I forget) and she had an available table.
I hesitated to accept, as I didn't really find out about this until right after tax season and this work season EXHAUSTED me. I had no stock, I had nothing to sell. But because I'm a dumb overachiever that apparently likes to destroy herself, I said yes.
Guys, when I tell you this whole experience was such a nightmare, I mean it. It was devastating and sad and just a really weird experience.
I didn't take many pictures, but here's part of my table display.
(Sorry for the low-ish quality, I took these with my phone. I didn't want to bring my good camera to this kind of event, you know?)
My mom made the lovely stuffed animals in the back, and I made everything else. There are also two dozen cupcakes over on the side.
I made all of this in like, a week hahahaha. While trying to clean up the house and have people over.
I sold one cupcake.
One. Cupcake.
I spent nights staying up till 3 a.m., worrying about my display and how my things would look, and I sold a single pity cupcake.
Michele and her lovely work partner ShaunaRae (who I met yesterday and she's also a wonderful lady!) kept trying to tell me that it was just because of this area and that if we were in Philly stuff would've sold. And while part of me agrees, I can't help but think 'No it's because you're stupid for thinking people would like anything you have and this is what you get for going outside of your comfort zone'. And I think that's true, too. When you have social anxiety disorder, it's always hard to breathe. All of the time. I have a really hard time around people and I try my best to not let it show, but when it's physically hurting you, it's hard to keep going sometimes. It's like having a magnet on your chest and another on your back and they're trying to stick to each other by going through your body.
So going out in this crowd was so terrifying. And I was not rewarded. I made about 1/10th of what the table cost alone, let alone the gas and the supplies for everything.
It's just so sad. I can't even really write this eloquently because it's just too upsetting. Now I'm sitting here with vegan goods that no one wants and paintings that no one wants. Although a lot of people really liked mom's stuffed animals (though no one wanted to pay her really reasonable prices).
This was a weird crowd, too. There was a lady selling vibrators and dildos in one corner and another trying to recruit people to this thing that's basically Avon for sex toys (they were two different stands!) and another lady selling I-swear-to-God animal bones. ANIMAL BONES. Animal bones were more popular than my things.
I'm still devastated today so I'm going to move on from this topic and talk about the drive-in.
For Eric's efforts and help, I promised to treat him to a movie. So we went to our absolute favourite drive-in theatre, Shankweiler's.
I'll be totally honest when I say there aren't many things in this world that make me happy. I'm not a happy person. But when I'm here, I'm so happy I could cry. It just brings me back to a time where I imagine everything is better. I know things weren't, but I like living in my imagination of the old days being the good days.
We stayed for their double feature of Transcendence and Her. Oh man.
I'm not going to do a whole movie review (that's not what this entry is really about) but I will say I was pleasantly surprised by this film! In Transcendence, Johnny Depp plays Dr. Will Caster, a man who wants to create a sentient machine and help humans transcend their abilities. While attempting this, a radical group fights his efforts and attempts to destroy his work.
It's been a while since Johnny Depp's done anything really good, so hurray Depp! I just wish Kate Mara had been in this more, she's so talented and it seemed a waste to put her in such a tiny role.
And then we saw Her! This was the movie I was honestly more excited to see, and this is the movie that completely destroyed my heart. It was THAT good.
Joaquin Phoenix plays Theodore, a lonely letter writer that develops a relationship with Samantha, his computer's operating system (voiced by the talented Scarlett Johansson).
I was surprised by some of the cast! (It was cute to see a movie with Kate Mara and then a movie with her sister Rooney Mara, for starters.) And oh hi there Chris Pratt, had no idea you'd show up in here! And I was shocked to learn that Kristen Wiig did the voice for Sex Kitten, heh.
This movie gets deep when it comes to relationships, and sometimes that's a bad thing. It'll make you hurt. But there's a lot about love that's ugly and needs to be discussed but it's usually glossed over, and this movie was like "Fuck glossing over anything, let's destroy people!".
I was a wreck after the film, but I instantly sobered up when I saw that the people in the car right next to us (when, mind you, there were a max of five cars that night and a TON of open spots) were... doing the dirty dance. At least, SOME kind of dirty dance. I screamed and went "EWEWEWEW" like the mature adult I am, and we drove away.
So, overall it was a mixed day but in the end I'm still pretty depressed. Sigh.
Sorry for the long hiatus, by the way. I've been working non-stop since February but after May 10th I'll be free and I'll be able to post things again! Yay!
xo, Kate
